A Black Girl Wrote This

It’s not that you can’t move forward… you’re just afraid of what your life might look like if you finally do.

Let’s go there fren.

You keep saying you feel stuck. Like nothing’s moving. Like life is at a standstill and you’re waiting on a breakthrough to magically show up.

Ima hold your hand when I say this Bookie.

You’re not stuck.

You’re stalling.

You’re not waiting on clarity. You’re waiting for courage. For a “sign”. Motivation.
You’re not lost. You just don’t like what the next step demands of you. What you think it might take from you. What you will have to sacrifice for it.

And I say that with love, because I’ve been there. Hell, some days I find myself still in that place. Holding onto the familiar, even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it’s suffocating. Because at least it’s predictable.

But honey bun—comfort and growth can’t coexist.

You say you’re stuck, but deep down, you know what needs to happen next.
You know what needs to be released. WHO might need to be released.
You know what conversations need to be had. What words need to be said.
You know what version of yourself you’re outgrowing. What people are not growing with you. What places have become too small for you.

But knowing and acting are two different things, and sometimes you call it confusion when it’s really just fear. You’re scared. & that’s ok.

The Tea: Stuck isn’t a place—it’s a decision. It’s choosing not to move because you’re afraid of the mess, the uncertainty, or the responsibility that comes with more.

But let’s keep it a buck. Are you really stuck—or are you just more comfortable in complacency than risking what growth might require?

The Fear of What’s Next is Real…

Name the fear.

• What if I fail?

• What if people judge me?

• What if I lose the people I love?

• What if it actually works and I don’t know what to do next?

That last one? That’s the kicker. Because sometimes, we’re not scared of failure. We’re scared of what happens when we finally get everything we asked for. A lot of us have made struggling a part of our identity because it’s all we ever knew and we have no idea who we will be when that part of our lives is over.

Ask Yourself This:

1. What am I saying I want… but secretly resisting?

2. What would moving forward really require from me?

3. Who would I have to become if I stopped holding back?

4. What would the best version of me do in this situation?

The Tea: Your fear of “what’s next” is valid. But so is your potential. So is your purpose. And the only way you stay stuck now is if you choose not to bet on yourself. If you choose to continue to follow the mood instead of the plan.

How to Move When Fear Has You Frozen

I’ve been working on reframing how I see things when I feel stagnant.

1. Name the Fear—Don’t Let It Hide

You can’t fight what you won’t face. Be honest about what’s holding you back.

Say it out loud. Write it down. Stop letting the fear live rent-free in your head without clarity.

The Tea: Fear thrives in silence. It grows when you pretend it’s not there, when you lie to yourself and call it confusion, timing, or “just not the right season.” You’re stalling. You’re scared. And the only reason fear still runs the show is because you’ve been too afraid to call it by name.

You make it harder for yourself by hiding from it. You stay stuck by pretending you don’t already know what needs to change. And you delay your glow-up every time you wait for courage to feel easy.

Say it out loud. Face it. Move anyway.

2. Make the Next Step So Small It’s Unavoidable

You’re trying to make a leap when you really just need to take a single step. You’re looking at it as a whole, instead of a list of things you can check off.

I’m not saying have that “quit your job and move to Bali” energy—just send the email. Update the resume. Start the journal. Make a plan.

The Tea: Small steps build self-trust—but only if you actually take them. Every time you follow through, you prove to yourself that fear doesn’t run your life—you do.

And if you keep breaking promises to yourself? That’s not just a bad habit, that’s a message: You don’t believe you’re worth the effort.

So what are you really teaching yourself when you keep choosing comfort over consistency? (I snatched my own edges with this one)

3. Stop Trying to Feel Ready. You Won’t Be.

Readiness is a lie and motivation is inconsistent. Growth never feels convenient. And if you’re waiting to feel brave before you move, you’ll be waiting forever.

The Tea: You don’t need to feel brave to take action. You just need to get honest: Is staying the same really worth what it’s costing you?

Courage isn’t always loud—it’s often just deciding that your comfort zone has become a cage.

You’re not waiting on a sign. You’re waiting on permission. Stop. Give it to yourself.

The Challenge: 7 Days of Self-Accountability

📝 For the next 7 days, I want you to choose one thing that gets you closer to the version of you that’s been waiting.

✔️ A phone call you’ve been avoiding.
✔️ A decision you’ve been delaying.
✔️ A truth you’ve been scared to admit.

Do it with shaky hands if you need to. Just do it.

At the end of the week, ask yourself: Am I really stuck—or did I just need to prove to myself I could move?

At the end of the day…

Fear Isn’t a Stop Sign

You’re not stuck.
You’re not broken.
You’re not behind.

You’re just at the edge of your next level, trying to decide if you’re ready to cross.

✨ And guess what? You are.
✨ It’s time.
✨ Your future is on the other side of your fear.

Move. Even if your voice shakes. Even if your hands tremble. Move anyway.

Because staying stuck? That’s a choice you don’t have to keep making.