Stop Waiting for Someone to Treat You Like Royalty and Start Acting Like You Built the Castle.
Let me ask you something—and I want you to be honest:
If you had a partner who treated you the way you treat yourself, would you be happy?
Would you feel safe? Seen? Held?
Would you feel celebrated—or barely tolerated?
Because a lot of us are out here praying for a kind of love we don’t even give to ourselves.
We want softness, but we don’t talk to ourselves with compassion.
We want luxury, but we keep convincing ourselves we don’t deserve nice things.
We want peace, but we don’t protect our own energy.
You’ve been waiting on someone to see you. To cherish you. To choose you. To finally love you the way you deserve.
But what if you’re the one? What if the love of your life has always been you?
I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this…
Bestie. You are the love of your life.
And you’ve been treating her like she’s disposable.
You Know How to Love.
You Just Don’t Know How to Love You.
Let’s stop pretending you don’t know how.
Because when it’s for someone else?
You bend over backwards.
You listen to their needs, their dreams, their preferences.
You plan surprises. You make space. You give grace.
But when it comes to yourself?
You ration joy.
You micromanage rest.
You talk to yourself like a drill sergeant and wonder why your self-esteem can’t breathe.
🔥 The Tea: You’re not unlovable—you’re just out of practice when it comes to loving YOU.
And the truth is, you teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself.
So, what have you been teaching? Some bullshit? Half-assedness?
If You Wouldn’t Accept It From Them, Stop Giving It to You
Let’s be real:
If someone else canceled plans on you as often as you cancel on yourself, you’d call them flaky.
If someone spoke to you the way you speak to yourself, you’d block them.
If someone made you feel guilty for resting, for dreaming, for existing—you’d leave.
So why is it okay when you do it?
🔥 The Tea: There is no version of self-love that includes self-abandonment.
Stop calling it “discipline” when it’s really self-neglect.
Stop calling it “humility” when it’s really self-erasure.
Stop calling it “being realistic” when it’s really fear in a costume.
You’ve Romanticized Sacrifice and You’re Paying the Price
You’ve been pouring from an empty cup and wondering why everything feels hollow.
You’ve been taught that good women give everything. That love means emptying yourself to prove your worth.
But I’m here to tell you:
✨ You are not a love offering.
✨ You are not a peacekeeper at the expense of your own.
✨ You are not a reward for someone else’s growth.
You are the love.
You are the peace.
You are the reward.
Start Showing Up for You Like You Would For “The One”
Imagine this:
You meet someone who treats you like rose petals should be dropped at your feet.
What would you do?
You’d clear your schedule.
You’d upgrade your life.
You’d show out.
You’d show up.
Now here’s the real question:
Why don’t you do that for yourself?
🔥 The Tea: The moment you stop waiting for someone to show up for you is the moment you finally get to meet the version of you who’s worth showing up for.
Because she’s in there. And she’s tired of being put last on her own list.
What Loving You Should Actually Look Like
Loving you doesn’t mean daily spa days and blowing money you don’t have.
It means:
- Speaking to yourself with tenderness.
- Resting without shame.
- Dressing your body like it matters.
- Taking yourself on a date—not because you’re lonely, but because you deserve joy.
- Spending on yourself with intention, not guilt.
It means putting your name at the top of your to-do list.
It means choosing what nourishes you over what numbs you.
It means looking in the mirror and saying, “I got you. Always.”
Start Dating Yourself
If you’re the love of your life, start acting like it:
✅ Speak kindly to yourself.
✅ Make space for your joy.
✅ Validate your feelings without needing a second opinion.
✅ Keep your own promises.
✅ Take yourself on the dates.
✅ Buy the thing.
✅ Say no with your chest.
✅ WEAR WHATEVER TF YOU WANT!!!
You don’t need permission to treat yourself like royalty.
You are the main character. Start acting like it.
🔥 The Tea: You can’t keep asking others to prioritize you when you’re out here canceling on yourself.
We spend so much of our lives performing worthiness.
- Waiting to be picked.
- Watering ourselves down to be digestible.
- Becoming the version of ourselves we think will be loved.
But love isn’t something you earn. It’s something you give. And nobody is more deserving of that love than you.
🔥 The Tea: You cannot expect someone else to fill a cup you refuse to pour into. You are not half a person waiting to be completed. You are the whole thing.
Rewrite the Narrative
You were not born to be somebody’s second choice. You are not here to beg for attention. You are not a placeholder until someone “better” comes along.
You are the blueprint.
You are the standard.
You are the love you’ve been waiting for.
🔥 The Tea: You teach the world how to love you by how you love yourself.
Show them. Loudly.
Ask Yourself:
- When was the last time I made me feel special?
- What would my day look like if I prioritized my own joy?
- If I were in love with me, how would I treat myself?
A Final Word for the Woman Who’s Been Neglecting Herself
This is the last day you convince yourself you’re asking for too much.
This is the last day you shrink to be digestible.
This is the last day you wait for someone else to bring you the love you’ve always deserved.
You Are It. Period.
You are not too much. You are not too broken. You are not too late.
You are here. You are whole.
You are worthy of the kind of love that leaves no room for doubt.
So give it to yourself first. Because you?
You are the love of your life.
And it’s time you started acting like it.
- What’s one thing you can do this week to show yourself love on purpose?
- What version of yourself have you abandoned to make others more comfortable?
🌱 Affirmation of the day:
I will stop treating myself like a placeholder in my own life. I am the love. I am the reward. I am worth showing up for.
A Black Girl Wrote This 
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